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It’s softball season! Do you need some new jokes to keep you laughing? Feel free to cut and paste some of our favorites:

Q: Why was the piano tuner hired to play on the softball team?
A: Because she had perfect pitch.

Q: Why did the softball fan take his car to the game?
A: He heard it was a long drive to center field.

Q:Why was the chef hired to coach the softball team?
A: Because he knew how to handle a batter.

Q: Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it takes to run from first to second?
A: Because you have a short stop between second and third.

Q: How do athletes stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans!

Q: What does softball have in common with pancakes?
A: They both rely on the batter!

Q: What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
A: Your breath!

Q: Why did the police go to the softball game?
A: Because someone was stealing a base!

Q: What’s the difference between a rain barrel and a bad fielder?
A: One catches drops; the other drops catches.

Q: What’s the difference between an umpire and a pickpocket?
A: One watches steals; the other steals watches.

Q: What was a spider doing on a softball field?
A: Catching flies.

Explaining Softball
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of her young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”The little girl nodded in the affirmative.“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?”The little girl nodded yes.“So,” the coach continued, “when a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?”Again the little girl nodded.”Good,” said the coach, “now go over there and explain it to your father.”

Greatest Hitter
A little girl was overheard talking to herself as she strutted through the backyard, wearing her baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: “I’m the greatest hitter in the world,” she announced. Then, she tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. “Strike One!” she yelled.Undaunted, she picked up the ball and said again, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” She tossed the ball into the air. When it came down she swung again and missed. “Strike Two!” she cried.The girl paused a moment to examine her bat and ball carefully. She spit on her hands and rubbed them together. She straightened her cap and said once more, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” Again she tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. She missed. “Strike Three!”“Wow!” she exclaimed. “I’m the greatest pitcher in the world.”

An Umpire’s View
In a local match, the umpire was being jeered and heckled unmercifully from the crowd.At length he walked over to the boundary and sat down next to his chief critic.” What are you doing?” asked the spectator.” Well,” said the umpire,”it seems you get the best view from here.”

What are some of your favorites?

March 2, 2016
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