March Madness: Basketball Jokes

With March Madness upon us, the pressure is on and the stakes are high for all the teams hoping to make it to San Antonio. Whether you’re attending a live game, going to a viewing party or just talking brackets with your friends, here are some basketball jokes you might want to keep on hand this month.

Q: What do basketball players and babies have in common?
A: They both dribble!

Q: What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
A: Your breath!

Q: Why do basketball players love cookies?
A: Because they can dunk them!

Q: Why should you not play sports in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs!

Q: What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?
A: One drools and the other dribbles.

Q: Why was Cinderella such a bad player?
A: Her coach was a pumpkin.

Candace Parker Holiday Clinic

If you’re lucky enough to live in, or near, Los Angeles, and you’re a basketball player who wants to train with LA Sparks star Candace Parker, then you’re in luck.

Parker is hosting a one day training clinic on Dec. 28th for girls who want to improve their game and play against top competition.

Check out the flyer for all the details:

WNBA playoffs begin tonight

Detroit opens it’s title defense vs. the Dream tonight. The WNBA Eastern Conference Semifinal series pits the second-seeded Atlanta team against the third-seeded Shock.

The Dream, in just their second year of existence, are making their first-ever appearance in the playoffs after posting an 18-16 record in the regular season, something that was thought to be impossible after they posted just four wins in their entire inaugural campaign.

The 1-2 opening round format, in which the lower seed plays at home first, could be a huge factor here. If veteran-laden Detroit is able to capture the opener at home, where it has won six straight, it could give them the mental edge over an Atlanta team getting a taste of the playoffs for the first time ever as a group.

Some fast facts about the first-round Shock-Dream matchup:

• Detroit snapped a three-game skid to Atlanta in their last meeting on August 27.
• The Shock lead the all-time series, 4-3.
• Atlanta is making its first trip to the playoffs, while Detroit is making its seventh straight and eighth overall.
• Erika de Souza posted three double-doubles vs. Detroit this season.
• Shavonte Zellous averaged 16.8 PPG vs. Atlanta this season.
• Detroit has won three straight opening-round series.

The second match up of the night features Los Angeles vs. Seattle in the Western Conference semifinal. The Sparks have been a thorn in Seattle’s side for years now. L.A. eliminated Seattle in a series that went the distance last season as well as in 2006. And with Tina Thompson now added to the mix, Candace Parker at full strength, Lisa Leslie motivated to win a title in her final season, the Sparks should present problems for the Storm once again in 2009.

Some fast facts about the first-round Storm-Sparks matchup:

• The Storm (74.82) and Sparks (74.50) are 11th and 12th in the league in points per game.
• Leslie has played in just one of the four games against the Storm this season. Parker has played in only two.
• Seattle was the two seed in 2004 when they won their only trophy.
• Lennox was part of that Storm championship team. Only Jackson and Bird remain off that roster.
• Leslie has spent her entire 13-year career with the Sparks. During that time, she’s made seven All-Star appearances and has won two titles.
• Milton-Jones and Leslie are the only two current Sparks from their 2002 championship team. Leslie has remained with the club over the years, while Milton-Jones left three seasons (2005-07) to play in Washington.

Be sure to catch both games tonight on ESPN2!

Seventeen: Play like a pro with Candice Wiggins’s tips

Basketball player Candice Wiggins, the star Stanford shooting guard, always had a goal of going pro. And after many obstacles, she’s finally there, playing in the WNBA for the Minnesota Lynx.

Her sponsor, Nike, recently announced they will feature Wiggins in a new program called Delicious Training, which is designed to inspire teen girls.

Seventeen.com caught up with the player recently. Read what Candice has learned about getting in shape (and making it fun), staying focused on the court, making sacrifices and dealing with the teammates she didn’t always like!

17: The new Nike ads you’re in are about “Delicious Training,” or making training fun for yourself. What are some of the workouts that are fun for you?
Candice Wiggins: As an athlete, I loved playing in the game. But there’s a whole other side of training, not necessarily just on the court. I love doing core workouts. In the [campaign photo] shoot, I was really doing boxing, and it was probably one of the hardest workouts of my life.

17: Are there any fun workout tips you can suggest for people who don’t necessarily like to train or work out?
CW: Being with friends is number one! Having fun means being around people who you can help motivate. There’s a lot of strength in numbers.

More of the interview at Seventeen.com

Iraqi girls take part in Lady Vols’ basketball camp

An Iraqi girls’ basketball team took part in a Tennessee Lady Vols basketball camp last week as part of a program promoting peace and cultural understanding through sports.

Under Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi National Women’s Basketball Team was dismantled and the number of girls playing plummeted. In the mid 1980s, Saddam’s son, Uday, “revived” the National Olympic programs but he was known to commit horrific acts of torture against athletes who did not placate his obsession to win. As a result, the vast majority of girls and women stopped playing sports altogether.

Sport 4 Peace , which was co-founded in 1994 by Steve DeVoss and UT doctoral student Sarah Hillyer, a former basketball player at Virginia Tech,  hope to bring Iraqi women back to the sport.  According to Hillyer, the idea to bring the girls to UT came when the group was conducting a basketball camp in connection with Global Sports Partners in Iraq last year.

They had taken some basketballs from the Lady Vols, and Pat Summitt – the winningest coach in college history -  videotaped an inspirational message for them.

During a session, the camp leaders asked the Iraqi players to write down their dreams on index cards.

“Every kid said my dream is to visit the USA, attend a WNBA game and to meet Coach Summitt and to thank her,” said Hillyer.

The 10 girls, ages 14-16, were selected based upon leadership qualities, a positive attitude, and a spirit of solidarity. The team, along with three coaches,  arrived in Washington, D.C. and spent a couple days in the nation’s capital before heading to Knoxville.  Per their wish list, they even attended a Washington Mystics-Atlanta Dream WNBA game.

Although many of the girls – who represent a diversity of Iraqi geographic regions and religious beliefs – are still fine-tuning their skills as they learn the game, they won over a few hearts during their time on the Tennessee campus.

Among those impressed with their aggressive style of play has been Summitt.

One of the Iraqi coaches told the media the experience has been meaningful. A couple of the girls said they had been educated watching the other campers and how they play as a team, how they talk on the court, how they pass and how they move.

Off the court, the girls have also learned plenty, especially regarding American food – which they described as different but good.

So, will some of these girls be playing for the Iraqi women’s basketball team during the 2012 Olympic Summer Games? Don’t count them out.

WNBA design contest brings fans creativity to the court

Get out your Crayolas and Sharpies. The WNBA wants to make someone a design superstar.

For the second consecutive season, adidas is giving WNBA fans the opportunity to combine their passion for the game with their creativity to design a shooting shirt that will be worn on court during the 2009 WNBA All-Star Game on July 25 in Connecticut.

Fans can log onto WNBA.com/idesign from June 8 to July 5, 2009 and submit their designs. The winning design, as determined by a panel of WNBA and adidas representatives, will be manufactured by adidas, the Official Outfitter of the WNBA, and worn on court by all players participating in the 2009 WNBA All-Star Game. Fans can also rate and comment on each submitted design online.

The winner will receive a trip for two to the 2009 WNBA All-Star Game and will be acknowledged during the game. The winning shirt will be sold on nbastore.com, at the NBA Store on 5th Avenue in New York City, and in-arena at the Mohegan Sun Arena during the All-Star game.

Last year’s winner, Meghan Farley, designed a creative shooting shirt incorporating each WNBA team logo united within a silhouette of the WNBA logo. Her shirt, which all players wore on court during the 2008 WNBA Finals, was sold online at wnbastore.com and was the top-selling item during its first on-sale date.

For more information, log onto www.wnba.com/idesign.

Pomp and Circumstance: Athletes Graduate

It’s that time of year. All across the country,  graduations are taking place.  But when they play “Pomp and Circumstance” and call the roll, there will be a number of no-shows at many of these graduation ceremonies.

Why miss graduation? Well, for student-athletes it can be a busy time of year. Some are participating in post-season play and others are transitioning into their professional careers.

Former Oklahoma women’s basketball stars Courtney and Ashley Paris are two who will not be donning a cap and gown this year. OU’s ceremony is Saturday and the sisters are due to start WNBA training camps on Sunday.

With the camps on the West Coast the two don’t want to travel so soon before practice starts. Courtney was a first-round draft pick of the Sacramento Monarchs and Ashley was drafted by the Los Angeles Sparks.

Courtney says she’s not happy about missing the graduation ceremony but the decision is best because of the short amount of time involved.

Other student-athletes are faced with similar dilemmas. Four University of Houston-Victoria softball players are choosing their jerseys over a cap and gown.

Sam Campagna, Lauren Garza, Lindsey Ferguson and Kristen Lindley will graduate on Saturday, but instead of attending their graduation, they’ll be playing in the NAIA National Softball Tournament in Decatur, Ala.

Similarly, there will be four no-shows at Mesa State College’s graduation. Seniors Meagan Hennessy, Jamie Prather, Kristen Silva and Jessica Rayman will be celebrating graduation on the diamond, preparing to play the second game of the NCAA Division II Super Regional 3 tournament, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Duke University’s official graduation ceremony was held last Sunday inside Wallace Wade Stadium, but seniors on the women’s lacrosse team were hosting the opening round of the NCAA Tournament (defeating Virginia 15-13 in overtime).  Luckily, Duke holds a special graduation ceremony for student athletes unable to attend the main graduation.

Former LSU women’s basketball standout Sylvia Fowles will return to campus to graduate this week, according to the Athletics Department. The former Olympic gold medalist, All-American, NCAA Defensive Player of the Year, Southeastern Conference Player of the Year, WNBA first-round draft pick and All-Rookie Team member, EuroLeague Center of the Year, who was two credits shy of graduation when she left school,  said the degree will be a crowning achievement on an already illustrious career.

So which schools do the best job of graduating female athletes? In general, female athletes graduate at a much higher rate than their male counterparts.

With this summer’s graduations of two former basketball players, Georgia coach Andy Landers’ 30-year streak is intact. Fifty-three of his 54 four-year letter winners will have graduated by August; the 54th will wrap up after a one-year internship ends in May 2010.

Lady Hardmon Grooms,  who played at Georgia from 1988-1992, wasn’t exactly on the college graduation fast track. But in August, after this summer’s internship, the former UGA basketball player will finish her long pursuit.

And 12 years after shedding her UGA uniform for those of professional teams around the world, Kedra Holland-Corn will finally get to wear her cap and gown.

Slow and steady, fast and furious, it doesn’t matter. UGA women are unbeaten in their graduation record.

The UConn Husky women’s basketball team also has a pretty good record. Just last month, the National Champions were recognized by the NCAA for top academic performance as a team.  And over the course of 24 seasons, Coach Geno Auriemma’s players have had a 100-percent graduation rate. Renee Montgomery, recently drafted by the Minnesota Lynx,  is among this year’s graduating seniors.  She became the first Husky to have her jersey retired before graduation.

Earlier this month the NCAA released its annual grades known as ”Academic Progress Rates,” a rolling four year measure of Division I athletes’ basic progress toward graduation.

APR scores are calculated by a point system that measures each athlete’s eligibility, retention and graduation in school. For falling below the 925 standard, programs can suffer immediate penalties ranging from loss of scholarships and practice time to a ban on postseason play.

Among the squads with a perfect APR score were Penn State’s women’s field hockey lacrosse, and tennis  teams. Only 7.2 percent of the nation’s 6,323 teams in the survey earned a four-year APR score of 1,000.

Congratulations to the Penn State women’s teams and good luck to all the graduates, even if you go pro in something other than sports!

Candace Parker welcomes baby girl

According the the WNBA site, Candace Parker gave birth to a baby girl today at 11:29 a.m. It is the first child for the WNBA MVP / Rookie of the Year and husband Shelden Williams of the Minnesota Timberwolves.

The baby girl weighed in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces and 20 inches in length. “Shelden and I are thrilled,” said Parker. “This is such a life changing moment for us, we feel blessed to have a healthy and beautiful baby girl.”

Parker plans to rejoin the Los Angeles Sparks once she has received clearance from her physician.

Congratulations Candace! Girls kick grass!!

UConn women’s basketball champions visit White House

The benefits of being the best. Win a national championship and you, too, could go to the White House.

A championship ceremony at the White House is standard for many national sports teams. But shooting hoops with the president, now that’s something else entirely.

Moments after today’s event in front of the White House’s South Portico, President Barack Obama hustled the University of Connecticut’s women’s basketball team over to the outdoor half-court.

The president, a former high school player and avid fan who still plays pickup games, prevailed in a brief, impromptu game of P-I-G with a few of the players.

“He was pretty good from 17 feet,” said coach Geno Auriemma. “His shot’s a little unorthodox, but it goes in … He’s got a little bit of that swagger.”

Renee Montgomery, a senior guard, said Obama only missed one shot and that he sank a final fade-away shot from off the court.

After about 10 minutes, Obama walked back to the White House with his sleeves rolled up and his suit jacket slung over his shoulder.

Connecticut dominated women’s college basketball this season, going 39-0 and beating opponents by an average of better than 30 points. They capped the season earlier this month in St. Louis with a 76-54 victory over Louisville. It was Connecticut’s sixth national college championship and third perfect season.

The team gave Obama a basketball signed by the players and a Connecticut jersey emblazoned with “1″ and his name on the back.

“Number One — that’s what I’m talking about,” Obama joked. “I will wear it when I’m playing.”

The Commander in Chief also commended the young women for their off court excellence as well.  Maya Moore was chosen an academic All-American — an outgrowth of perhaps the program’s most impressive statistic, the NCAA recognized the top academic performance of the team which has enjoyed a 100% graduation rate in Auriemma’s 24 seasons.

Obama said that as the father of two young daughters, he especially appreciates the success of female athletes like the Connecticut team.

“My girls look at the TV when I’m watching ‘SportsCenter’ and they see women staring back,” Obama said of the ESPN program, a personal favorite. “That shows them that they can be champions, too.”

Gobama!

Coach Auriemma has a good chance of returning to the White House, along with some of the players from his teams. He has been named coach of Team USA and will be coaching the U.S. team in the 2012 Olympics.

So what about UConn?  Will the women’s team be back in Washington next year? Well, there’s a very good chance. The team lost just one key player, Renee Montgomery, and they have a top recruit coming in so beating them next year will be pretty tough!

“Hoops for Hope” Honors Yow, Promotes Awareness

Today North Carolina State will host the fourth “Hoops 4 Hope” game, which helps raise money for the cancer research fund in late Coach Kay Yow’s name. The event, established by Yow to raise awareness for the disease that ultimately took her life, is sold out for the first time, bringing Yow’s long fight back to the forefront, less then three weeks after her death.

“She always looked at this as a game that would provide hope for so many cancer survivors and for so many people who are having difficulties in their lives,” said interim coach Stephanie Glance, an assistant to Yow for 15 seasons. “There’s such great energy and such great cause that it’s so uplifting.”

The first “Hope” game came against Maryland in 2006 and raised $27,000 through donations and auctions for a local chapter of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. The next year, the event raised about $44,000. Last season was the first in which the proceeds went to the Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Fund, created in December 2007. The event raised more than $42,000 last season.

During halftime of today’s game, breast cancer survivors will be invited to walk onto the court and stand together in order to give hope to those fighting the disease.

Glance said Yow’s office door will remain open the rest of the season.

“It was comforting to me,” she said. “Others [on staff] would say they don’t want to go in there because it makes them sad. But for me, I wanted to be in there, look around and take everything in.

“When everybody will feel the same way will be when we have to pack up her things and it’s no longer her office, and we’ll be very sad. Right now, it’s just like it was, but it won’t be like that much longer.”

For more information on the Pink Zone initiative, a “unified effort to raise breast cancer awareness on the court and across high school and college campuses,” Go to ESPN.com or tune in to ESPN2 Sunday at 1p.m. EST.

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