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SoccerIn honor of the World Cup – here are some soccer jokes to keep your spirits up (even if your team is down or out).

Soccer Definition: A game consisting of 22 skilled players, one impartial referee, two eagle eyed referee’s assistants and one stupid ball.

Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
A
: Because she ran away from the ball!

Q: Why do soccer players do so well in math?
A: They know how to use their heads.

Q: How do athletes stay cool during a game?
A
: They stand near the fans!

Q: What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
A
: Your breath!

Q: Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet.

Q: Why should you not play sports in the jungle?
A
: There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A: So she could tie the score

Q: Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
A: She was tired of being kicked around.

Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match.

Q: What kind of tea do soccer players drink?
A. PenalTea!

Q. What runs around a soccer field but doesn’t move?
A: A fence

Q. What do you get if you cross a soccer player and a mythical puppet?
A: A centaur forward.

Q: How did the field get all wet?
A: The players dribbled all over it.

Q: What’s the best place to shop for a soccer shirt?
A: New Jersey.

Limerick
There was a goalkeeper called Walter 
Who played on the island of Malta.
But his kicks were so long 
And the wind was so strong,
That the ball ended up in Gibraltar.

Let us know if you have any additions!

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June 16, 2014
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